Murder Suspect #5:
Crystal the American Consumer
CRYSTAL:
Crystal dropped out of high school but graduated summa cum laude in impulsivity. She’ll gift you a smile, a lifetime of regretful debt, and leave you haunted by the ghost of interest rates past.
CRYSTAL'S TESTIMONY:
Int - Interrogation Room - Day
INVESTEGATOR
You were unaccounted for the night of your friend Penny's murder...why?
Pop! Crystal's double bubble explodes out of her mouth, spit landing on the investigator's face.
CRYSTAL
I was elbow deep in designer knockoffs at the Crestwood Mall.
INVESTEGATOR
I have witnesses stating they saw you within proximity to Penny's death.
Her eyebrows furrow inward as if she drank toilet water.
CRYSTAL
Witnesses? Oh please, probably the same
nosy busybodies who couldn't tell Penny
from a parking lot shadow. Why the fuck would
I KILL my friend?? Did you stuff a pole up your ass,
you freak.
